July adventures!

Today marks my last full day in Bowmanville for a month, a MONTH. I leave tomorrow around 11 am, for camp. I don't know how I feel right now. I am happy, excited, nervous , scared, anxious, and so on. I am almost all packed, but, really. I have WAY tooo much. Pictures will follow at the end. None of the lidsof the bin will shut all the way, and I did not get to pack some of my favourite clothes, I still have two shirts to pack, a 24 case of water, a blanket, a pillow, my pills..and uhh, i think thats it. Most of its last minute stuff, as in tomorrow, but I HONESTLY have NO idea where its going.

Hopefully camp provides a very good experience with me, I am nervous. I am all set though, cndy and chips for us girls, make up, bug spray, after bite, clothes,. everything, a clock, someone else is bringing a fan, but i mean, i'm alll set. I am not bringing sun screen which proves how stupid I am, but this summers goal is to recieve a good tan. I am looking forward to the money aspect, if I even end up making any, and not being bored. I am very excited for camp, and although I will miss everyone, I think this is what I SHOULD do. If you become insanely bored and do not know what to do without me :). You may send me letters at camp, and I will reply. The address is Mill Stream Bible Camp 880 Old Mill Road, RR3 Omemee, ON, Postal code:K0L 2W0 , and the 0 is a zero, it is kind of hard to tell there. Just write my name on the envelope, and expect return mail. Love you all so much, and will miss you tons!

Hm, I see my sweater, and stripped bra, and mascara, and i dont know, lots! lol. But, that all does not include what I have listed as not packed.

Top view. Bible, paper, clock, etc etc etc, and dog, hes not coming:). CRAP. I haven't packed my stuffed animal thingys yet :(.

Rachels Graduation!

It is insane to look back, and realize its almost been two years [ two years as of friday ] since I graduated grade eight. I remember how much that night meant to me, and how special it was. Although, looking back I hate the dress, the make up, the hair, the night was still amazing.

I met Rachel way back when she was in grade four, I was best friends with her big sister. I started going to youth group, and eventually church. I never paid too much attention to her, she was just the annoying little sister. Stuff happened between me and Emily, and we were still friends but not as close. Last year when she went off to camp, was when me and Rachels friendship blossomed. I'd never hung out with her alone, and we pretty much did the whole time Em was at camp. I loved being with her, I had so much fun. Me and Emilys friendship was cut off completely, it was not working and we both understood that. I still loved and respected her, but could not be her friend. Me and Rachels friendship did not change despite what I was worried was going to happen, if anything, it got bettter. Its gotten to the point, if I don't see her ATLEAST more than the regular Friday and Sunday weekly, then I miss her. If I don't spend the weekend at her house, its not normal. Its weird, but i love the kid to death. She graduated last night, and although I could not go, I got to see her and she looked BEAUTIFUL. I was soo proud of her for graduating as shes made it soo far from the little grade four I met so many years ago. I care about her, and love her like a little sister, and I would do anything for her.

Of course, I have pictures. Only two, because facebook wont let me get more, and I looked SOOO bad. I feel disgusting even posting them, but whatever.

Love you to death, gorgeous!

Rachel and I, in her room before she left.

Me and My little Sister.

Last night.

Oh my GOODNESS. Well you know my best friend moved yesterday, so when considering to be a cheerleader at my usually monday night baseball game for Rachels church I thought twice. But I realized it would be good to be with friends and have a good time, I never quite realized HOW much fun!. It was a late game, which involved me getting home after midnight, I had one exam left, so it didn't matter too much. We left just after eight, for the first game. When we arrived , we decided we were going to go on a walk, to the lake. It was pretty close by and we'd seen it many times, and never went. Its actually lake Ontario, and discustingly dirty, but I had no intent of going in, just viewing it ...

We walked through many weeds , for what felt like a long time. Emily V had shoes on and I noted that was a good idea, until a new idea came up. We had finally reached the lake, when we decided we were going to stick our feet in. Emily watched, while we stuck our feet in the freezing, and dirty, lake ontario. I don't know who convinced me or how, but soon enough I was up past my knees in water, and Emily decieded she too, must come in. It was so cold, words cannot even explain to you. But that did not stop us, we took a path and went further and further along the lake, and further and further from the baseball diamonds. We saw an old couple and got into a little discussion about the water, and moved on. There was a guy and his dog there, the guy was probably 20, and seemed really nice, but it began to get creepy, really fast. We were saying we were cold, amongst ourselves, and he heard and made us a fire, where he went, we went. We started to get really creeped out and head back, it took a while to get back, and before the journey was done, I ofcourse, fell face first into Lake Ontario. The rocks were so slippery, and we were wearing flip flops, a discusting picture of it, will be posted. We even planned, we wouldnt wear our sweaters in the water so we had something dry to change into, i dropped mine in the water, ugh. So I was more wet than everyone and had nothing warm to put on for the next two hours of the game, although we did remember there were blankets back at the game.

We were walking back, and did not see the man, that did frighten us, until we met up with his dog. It was scary, he was where we were AGAIN. I did NOT feel comfortable at all, we just kept walking, as fast as we could, and stuck together. We got back to the game, and nothing else really happened, until the end of the game when our team hit a ball, right into another guys nose, and shattered his nose: So the game ended early, which worked in my favour because by that time, I was exhausted and frozen.

Picture time.

I think we look like we're tiptoeing through there, me and Emily B. do atleast aha.

Me and Emily Vincent in the FREEZING water.

LMFAO love her face! That was part of our adventure, crossing there, to get to the other side!

I wish I could tell you what on earth I was doing....

This is by far, the most DISCUSTING picture of life, but, it shows how wet I am, holding my wet sweater in a mound. Only in a tank top and soaking jeans.

Ten things Tuesday!

I love how grateful and positive I feel after doing this, it makes me want to blog and blog forever.

1. I have a best friend that I can miss so much. Many people do not have the chance to even have the kind of best friend I do, and even though shes so far, shes always my best friend.

2. I have good friends who know how to give me a good time when I need cheering up. I had an amazing time last night, I'll post a blog about it once the girls post pictures.

3. I am done my exams! Exams are always a stress factor, especially math which I am unsure if I passed or not, but I am waiting, and will soon find out.

4. Its SUMMER. I needed a break from school and I've offically got it, I'm so happy its summer!!!

5. I leave for camp in a few days. I think I need a break from Bowmanville, and reigions in general. To get away from the tv, the computer, the cell phone, the music, etc etc etc. I think it will be good for me.

6. I finished my math ISU [independant study unit ]. It was worth 10 percent of my mark, and usually I would just say screw it and do none of it, but I finished it, and feel confident in what I did, considering the struggles.

7. The loud fans are OUT! No more fans in my house! I got to sleep in my OWN bed last night, and I got a good nights sleep :D .

8. Everything is finally getting sorted out in the house. The kitchen is still a mess, but we have our family room, living room, and parents bed room back to normal, it was getting too uncomfortable !

9. I get to go and see my gorgeous really good friend Rachel before grad and get some pictures, although orginally I had wanted to go to her grad, and still wish I could be there, as shes a little sister to me, I understand that Uncle Mike and Elsa are going and they do not have enough tickets.

10. I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable today, in general, like a cow! And I got quite a few compliments. Usually I wear fairly baggy clothes, not overly, but enough that my figure is not shown because it is not one I am proud of , and today I wore a shirt that was a little tighter and many friends said I look skinny today, although untrue, it was nice to hear.

here we go again;.

So I just finished bawling for the past hour; so lets see if I can get through this blog. I need to let the emotions out.

You'd think I'd be a professional, at saying goodbye to friends by now. Not too long ago my practise went to works again, I had to say bye to my best friend ; again!. I've never been good with goodbye, from the first time I remember having to say it. Kevin Arsenault, I was in love with the kid, I'd known him since the day I was born, he was 9 days older than me, and I truly loved him. I remember in grade six him moving away, and my whole world came crashing down, december 15th, it was my dads birthday. Then Jen moved, although not far, it gave me another chance to realize how awful the word goodbye can be. And then Marines, and then Emma, and then Allie and now Emma again. I know, I should be professional.

I remember meeting Emma in grade eight, we were in the same group for a science project, because I had like no friends in my classs; I remember wanting to switch classes, I am grateful I didn't, or I MIGHT not have my best friend. As the story goes, I bragged about my birthday party coming up, stating I could get the candy for the science project because I was going out anyways for my birthday party, I've never quite lived that down. We hung out once or twice, but were always together in school. I remember her telling me she was moving to 38 farncomb, and realizing, I was 49 farncomb, and only doors down from her. It was the beginning of a tough, but amazing friendship that definately paid off in the end. We've had some good times, some bad times, and some hard times, but at the end of the day I could always count on her being my best friend. I desperately miss her and its only been an hour.

Emma you know you always have a place to stay in Bowmanville, whenever you want to, and although you live all the way in England, I will come visit, that is my promise to you. I will save my camp money for the trip, so I can come next summer maybe . Best friend, I love you to death, and I have one favor to ask of you,
please don't forget about me

p.s, i didn't make it through without breaking down again, damnit;



Us on grad, Emily , Emma, Alyssa and I.


The day she moved back ..


Us, in grade eight; I miss it so much.


And again the day she moved back, I was soo happy;

Forgiveness.

At church this Sunday, the wonderful Dr. Ronn Young came to preach, although his messages are looooong, I always take something away from them. He preached on forgiveness on Saturday. The service began by the deacons handing out little snow flake sticky notes, to everyone, but no one saying what to do with them, so we all held on to them. He said, near the end of the service, that they were to write the person you need to forgive most on, and then throw it in the bucket, as if to get rid of it, and to let go of it. Almost instantly I thought of myself; I really need to forgive myself, but as I got thinking, that is the second person I would put on there.

I realized there is one person I have not forgave, not since I was long enough to realize what she had done to me, and my family. I dislike holding grudges terribly, I feel like a bad person and wrong for doing it, so I avoid it, but this one woman has hurt me and the people I care about too much.

I picked up my yellow snow flake and wrote Francis Walmsley. I threw it in the bucket, and let go of my anger, my hatred, and my hurt, and all the negative feelings I had toward her. She is my grandmother, my moms mom, and has never been a great part of the family. You see, when I was very young I met her, young enough to not remember, young enough enough to know anything about my very own "nanny". She did some terrible things to my mom. Said some things, and never remained "in touch", not as if she has an excuse, she only lives 10 minutes away. This hurts me a lot, not only does she hurt my Mom and not try to keep in touch with my Mom, but she does not take the time to call her granddaughter, and has not even met her grandson. She wasn't there at my grad, for my birthdays, and won't be there to see me turn 16, or graduate high school, and although that hurts a lot.

I've forgiven her.

Update on Me!

I have been so busy with the flood I have not had time to write about myself. The house damage is only getting worse day by day, its not a fun place to be. So far sleeping in for me, is now 5:40. That used to be terrible getting up then, ugh!
Anyways.

Exams!
I hate them but love them because they indicate the end of school. I had my English exam yesterday, it was fairly easy but I did terrible on the essay, I came out of that class with a 79, ugh, why couldn't it of been an 80. Usually we do not know our marks instantly but for some reason we did for English. Today I have french, french should not be too bad, but certainly will not be as easy as English! Monday is math, by far my hardest and the one I am MOST worried about. I have been working like CRAZY to finish my ISU so I can help my mark for math. If I do not do well on this exam I will fail math and have to take it next year, which means I will notget a spare and my classes will be messed, so I can't let that happen. Lastly I have spanish I am so not concerned about that.

:(. Monday is going to be a terrible day, could it be any worse? Math exam and then best friend moving. I have not dealt with her move to England for the second time, very well, and am concerned how it will play out on Monday saying goodbye. I am scared we will completely lose touch, and that will be the end of our friendship. Ihope not :(

I am sooo busy this weekend, whats new! I always seem to be on weekends now. Tonight is youth, :). I love youth. And I think Nick is coming, :):):):). He came last week. I have some pictures but theyre HIDIOUS of me. I really like him, if you can't tell. I'll post the pictures at the end of the entry, despite how ugly I am. Uhhh. I'm so excited to see him in french and see him next year. I'm going to miss him over the summer; i REALLY like him. :]]]]. Hes so nice, hes like a giant though. LOL hes like 6 feet and I'm hardly 5! Anyways, I tend to ramble when its about himm... :). Then saturday is the SUNDAY School picnick at our church. I can't wait, we're having a snow cone machine, dunk tank [dunk the deacons, plunging pastors] and so many other fun things. It is always a fun time and I am excited, and then Sunday of course, Church.

I just realized this morning how soon camp is! I am so excited, but so nervous. I leave in eight days, for pretty much a month. I come home every saturday but leave again after church Sunday, so I am not here at all really. I will probably hang out with Rachel on those Saturdays anyways!

I better go, get ready.

Me and Nick at youth last week.
Me looking uuuuugly, Nick not ready, but shws the height difference

continued.

A lot had happened from when I left yesterday morning til when I got home. My brother took a bunch of pics for me, but I felt like making a video this morning. I sound awful since it was like 5:30 (no one sleeps here anymore) and its kind of dark because not all our lights work! I have my first exam today so I better get ready! Talk to you later!

Ten things Tuesday

I have missed out these past few weeks, on this, but all that has gone on the past few days has left me feeling I need to reflect!

1. That I only have one real day of school left, and then exams! And then summer.

2. After this flood incident, 99 percent of my stuff did not get ruined and we are all safe. I am very thankful! Clearly someone was watching over us!

3. I had an amazing fathers day with my Vincent family, and my family!

4. I got to spend some time with Rachel and have tons of fun at her birthday party!!!!

5. My parents did not blame me for this whole situation and get angry at me, but allowed me to know it was not my fault, and it is "okay"

6. Summer is JUST around the corner, and I get to relax!!!

7. I leave for camp in very little amount of days. I'm gone in 10 days. Exciting but nevre racking!

8. I've had a good last week of school, and been very successful despite it being the last week, and the stresses of that!

9. I get to reflect on my amazing week!

10. And lastly, that we have insurance!!! All of these things in this house, damage wise, would of been WELL over fourty thousand dollars, and we're lucky enough to have insurance to cover it..



Kimberley and I. We're really close, and shes one of the girls I'm working with at camp! This was us at Rachels birthday party, going for a late night swim. Love you Kimbo.

oh the drama, continued.

Sooo , today the insurance people came .. oh what a joy. Arriving home wth 20 + people in your house. The water had damaged soo much, they had to , remove 90 percent of the carpet from my parents room, move out all the appliances from the kitchen, so they can eventually take out the tiles, knock out all the cupboards, hasn't QUITE been finished. Remove walls from my moms room. They have to get rid of the tiles in the bathroom, they have to redo the whole ceiling still, they have sooo much to do,
I bet you can't wait to see my nice, new house!


Where our dishwasher used to be, and at one point, cabnets...

Some of the cupboards that are going to be removed, notice the "x"

The stairs, where carpet once laid.

Another shot of the stairs, unbelievable.

The hallway, once again, orginallyhad carpet. You can see the wet spots, thats after 24 HOURS of drying

Mom and Dads room, had carpet and NO holes in the wall..

Anddd again

& Caitlin srikes again...

I like causing trouble and drama it seems!





Today when I got home from school I went to the bathroom in my moms bedroom. I don't go at school because the toilets are disgusting so I held it til I got home. I went pee, in the toilet in her bathroom which is something i NEVER do, but now. It was making a funny noise, unsure of what was happening I ignored it, knowing I just went pee and it obviously was not plugged..





I fell asleep in my parents bedroom and apparently my dad woke me up and talked to me, this I do not remember. A short half hour later my mom wakes me up to tell me the toilets flooded. Her room, her bathroom, the living room , the dining room, the kitchen and the basement are all soaked . And its ALL my fault! I have some pictures, our basement is messsy, her bedroom is messy, but oh well.

















The basement. It is supposed o be a light gray color : it clearly is not. You can see thebottom of boxes are wet, and our hardwood that we have yet to lay down. We may need to redo the living room becuase of the incident.













That would be my parents room and the many foot steps from us walking in and out, that is after some water had been soaked up.
















And there is a better view of my parents floor. There were MANY pictures on the floor I had cleaned up before this shot, hoping we'd not ruin most since, they are all very old.

Oh, a day in the life of Caitlin.

My heroes.

Fathers day was yesterday, and I was very busy and did not get a chance to blog. I have this dad, whom is amazing in every single aspect. He provides for me, loves me, cares for me, and does so much for me. I look up to my daddy more than ANYONE in this world, and I truly wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. I could not live without my daddy, I would not be anywhere without him. Although my daddy is not perfect [ who is?? ] he is amazing and I could not imagine my life without him! I love you so much, Daddy.

&&& then theres my grandpa.

My Grandpa, is my dads replica. They are identical in personality, and they are both hilarious. I also look up to my grandpa, hes done so much for me, and I can always count on him to "bere there". I was blessed to have an amazing father, and an amazing grandfather. I love them both with my whole heart and I am so grateful for them.
Happy Fathers Day, Grandpa and Daddy. I love you!

Where did grade 10 go?!

I am sitting in my third last English class, wondering where the year went. I'm done all my work so I figured i'd blog, what else is there to do. I don't want to watch the movie, so i'll just do this, haha. I remember the first day of grade 10, like it was yesterday. Frankly, I remember the first day of grade NINE like it was yesterday. These past two years just flew by, literally. I don't know how I made it through, I am not smart - noooo. Not at all , so just knowing , I've almost somewhat successfully completed grade 10, is an amazing thing for myself. I remember first semester, I had photography first period. I was excited for that class, until I got in there realizing the only person I knew in there, was my arch-enemy Stephanie. Oh how I dreaded what was about to happen. Me and Steph were really good friends in grade nine, really close. I really liked her, and we were on the same soccer team, but then drama started and I could not stand the girl, for the life of me. She'd talk about me, and give me dirty looks, and even turn my own friends against me. She made second semester of grade nine really hard. Our last connection was in soccer during the summer, we played against each other, and I hit her REALLY hard. I hip checked her off the friggen field, :. I have NEVER done that before, I have never hurt someone so bad. I did feel guilty, I'm not heartless, but it felt so good at the same time, after she caused me all that emotional pain, I gave her some physical pain. Anyways, way off topic -- you could imagine my stress and fear seeing her after our last encounter did not go very well. I saw her and we said about five words which some how consisted of us saying "lets sit beside eachother" or something, it was sure an awkward first week, but now we're closer than we ever were in grade nine, so something good came out of all that bad; I had history next. I've never been a fan of history, I think its called "history" for a reason, because no one wants to hear about the 'history' , but I had a really good teacher who made it fun!. I had lunch, and then science. In science I was stuck with another girl who I didn't like, and no one else I knew. I was in an applied class [ lower level ] because I almost failed science last year, and its the first applied class I've ever taken, so I didn't know anyone. I saw this new girl, I'd never seen in the school before and I really wanted to get to know her, but was too shy to talk to her. I've kicked myself everyday since, me and Allie talked once and we became really close. She moved October 30th, and we started talking so late that we did not get a chance to properly know each other, and I could of changed that. She moved 72 hours away to another province and I miss her terribly. I had civics/careers fourth period, and man I hated the teacher. But that class allowed me and Kayla T to get close and start talking more, and I am really glad that happened, we had some good times in that class laughed a hell of a lot.

This semester was alot harder, but I was blessed to have Emma in three of my four classes, and some close friends in the one she wasn't in. I had some very good teachers this semester, too. I really liked my french teacher, and spanish teacher. I don't really mind my English teacher, shes alot nicer when you have her than when you don't really know her. Buuuuuut, my math class... I don't even know what to say about it. I would not of survived it without Kay and Steph. My teacher was rather interesting, and retiring this year so he didn't really give a damn in teaching, but I respect the fact he helped me get up from a pathetic 18 percent, to a passing 63 percent.

Although, I am very excited for summer to begin and school to end, I am going to miss this year. The friends, the classes, the teachers - a little bit of it all. I cannot believe I'm in grade eleven next year - i feel old ! :

I lost the fight....

against hair dye!

So. I decided I wanted to dye my hair. I last dyed it when Jessica was here and wanted some change. I love dark brown hair but it never seems to work. So I decided, I was going to buy black dye, and leave it in hafl the time. Stupidest choice I have EVER made!!!!!!1. It was supposed to be in 25 minutes, and I barely left it in 15. This was me a few days before the 'dye attacked'

Terrible picture and you can pretty much see down my shirt. I am sorry about that, but it was the best of them all [ sad, i know ]

annnnd, this is me after.....

See what I mean! I so lost the fight.......

Stressed.

I am so stressed out, I don't even know how to describe it. I am ready to pull all my hair out, and I think I am prematurely going gray because of this, aha, kidding - but still : I really should be fixing it, not blogging about it but I cannot handle it right now. With School coming to an end, there are ISUs [individual studies unit] which are worth 20 percent of your mark, they make or break you, and are very stressful. But, my English one I did a few weeks ago I got 96 on, which made me happy, as thats clearly only 4 percent away from 100, and I like that. French is hard, the ISU, ohhhh my goodness, we are in a group and have to make up a 20 minute fairy tale, present it, and make a game to go along with it. In a another language, thats not easy. Spanish ISU is coming next week, along with my math one. I have verb projects every other day in french and i've missed a few, we're at 5, and i've done two, so im behind and stresssed there. Tomorrow I have an interview to do c0-op at my old school, and I am scared I will not get that. I don't know how to impress her, and I need this job. In just over 20 days I'm leaving for camp, ahh. Exams are coming up, and I'm too close to failing Math. I don't know when my best friend is moving, and UGH I have a five page english project due tomorrow.
Does ANYONE want to shoot me ? :

I'm done "covering up"

I decided last week, I am done using cover up. I am done covering up the face that I have, and know. Done! I gave Emma all my cover up. The amounts of cover up I've used over the years is amazing, spending soo much time covering up every little flaw, that shines through anyways. Re-applying many , many, many times a day, and ruining my skin even more so by doing it. I was given the face I have for a reason, and I am sick of trying to "cover up".
Although, Mascara and eyeliner, they are still a must!

This blog entry is really short. I took a few pictures, without my make up [NONE] and I was going to post them, but they're revolting!

my favourite part of the day.

I was at my old neighbours on the weekend, and she asked her kids what the favourite part of their day was. They simply answered with no thought put into it, it came out natural. She asked me, lastly, and I had NO idea. My day was boring, and fairly normal, so I didn't have anything. Jill was shocked I could not answer this at the speed her children did, which really got me thinking about it. I really should know this. Today I was out in the freezing cold at my brothers soccer game, stupid as I am, I went out in flip flops, capris and a jacket. I was freezing, and shivering. A lady beside us [on the other team I must add] saw this shaking and leant me her blanket. It showed strangers actually do care at times, and I really respected that. That was my favourite part of today, there Jill!! :P