Insecurities.

For as long as I can remember, I have been what someone would call, insecure, or self concious, or anything else that defines those meanings. To myself , insecure means self doubtful, self concious, lacking self confidence, and much more, but those are what mainly address me. When searching insecure on www.dictionary.com the defintion that fit me the best was "not confident or certain; uneasy; anxious:"

I am not one to accept a compliment, I can not seem to accept one because of the simple fact I hardly believe whats being said. I have gotten better about it, realizing denying it will only make me look needy and deseperate for compliments, when in all honesty, I just don't see it. I now will say thanks as a reply, rather than "no" or anything of the sort.

I look in the mirror and my flaws stand out more than anything else to me. No matter what I do I cannot see anything positive and I would do anything in the world to feel secure, confident, and okay with myself. My insecurities do not only invovle my appearence, but every thing. My laugh, my voice, my personality and really anything I can possibly think of.

This is not being posted to hear "oh, you're pretty" or asking for compliments from anyone, or anything, because I really do not need that to be happy, I am posting this to get my truth out, and to feel better about myself. Writing in blogs, makes me have new realizations and feel better about situations I previously didn't.