Looking back on last year I realized how much I endured and survived. I never really realized the struggles I went through. Grade nine, the first year of high school and where your life really begins in my opinion. By September 23rd my best friend had already moved to England, that being said the only friend I really truly had ever, was Emma, and when she left my life fell apart, forcing me to make new friends.
I remember the Monday after she left, Stephanie invited me to eat with her and Molly and it was probably the nicest thing that could ever had happened then. I wish things could of remained that way, and easy. I decided it was time to move on from Emma, because although I missed her, she was gone and I needed to realize that.
Me and Stephanie , Emily and Lynette, all got closer, we were all in gym together and we just became better friends as the year went on. Of course good things only last sooo long, and things changed, and they changed fast. Next thing I knew, it was second semester, and I had survived the first semester of high school, and I was happy.
Second semester happened, and it was good too, for the start atleast. I had French with Emily, and Stephanie and Lynette, and it was perfect. One day everything all went down hill and FAST. Next thing I knew, Stephanie hated lynette, and i figured I should too so steph would continue to be my friend. And Emily took her side without realizing it, because we were rude to lynette for really no reason.
I really can't remember what happened, but all i know, is I had no one at all. Grade nine, is not a year you want to be a loner. Steph decided she hated me, and that was not what I wanted, and ... I became the one she disliked most. Boy, it wasn't easy at all. She'd give me dirty looks, she'd put her backpack in my seat so I couldn't sit there, and she'd talk about me. I cried myself to sleep many nights and I would fake sick so I wouldn't have to deal with her.
Through all of that, the more hated I got, the more I disliked myself and the more depressed I got, which I figure has a lot to do with the depression 'discovery'. But I became stronger and I became able to deal with stuff I could never imagine I could. Not to say that it ever stopped. Steph did, and we are now friends surprisingly. But theres a new Stephanie in my life, and I think we all have a 'Stephanie' in our lives, but she taught me how to live and learn, and I'm grateful for the hell she put me through.
Friday, January 18, 2008
I survived it.
Posted by Caits; at 3:44 PM
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2 comments:
aww good job cait
thank you my dear ! i just read this lol. its such a depressing blog :|
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