School!

I start school tuesday, and I am soo nervous, but so excited at the same time. One of the classes I took this year is soo out of my boundries, and comfort-zone. It is called "SLiC" and it is pretty much the class that deals with all the leadership stuff, and such. I am terrible with big groups of people, and I put myself in this class, don't ask me why. But, it worries me. Another thing that worries me, is I changed all my classes [but my two period co-op] to match Emmas. Good that I will have friends in it - yes. But, bad that if we get in a fight, or stop being friends, I have 6/8 classes with her, thats a tad bit worrysome. I don't know if it was the best move, but also, it will help us not fight because we know that we have to see each other every period this semester, and all afternoon next. My classes are, healthcare, SLiC, spare [ i'm on a waiting list for living spaces ] and spanish -- Second semester. My two period co-op with grade twos at my old school, Spare [i'm on a waiting list for math ... : ] and parenting. The whole spare and waiting list thing sucks too. As you can see I don't even HAVE english this year. Because my English was slotted in the only period spanish was, I had to choose so I chose spanish, so she moved my english to second period but said I had to choose a class to take while I'm on the waiting list. I do not want to do a class for two weeks, and then stop and go into another one - no thanks. So I totally dropped it, and I have to take two englishes next year, and if I don't get MATH this year, I have a math next year. I haven't even started this year . AH. I'm so nervous, after this blog lol.

what I day I had.

Yesterday was a fairly good day, I think the other baseball team heard me bragging about my wonderful day and wanted to put an end to it. I went to the church baseball games, as I always do to cheer on my team, goooo courtice baptist [ who won their first game yesterday :D ] and they have about three or four games going on at once. So, for the second game we switched from diamond six to diamond seven. I watched about 15-20 minutes of this game enjoying myself greatly. There was this cute baby, and everyone was just having fun. Now, the league rules are you have to call heads up if it is coming near people. In my case, this was not done. Next thing I know, I have this HORRIBLE pain in my head, as I realize a baseball hit me in the back of the head from 15 ft away. Now, all i can say is they are LUCKY they didnt hit that little baby. But, I was sitting there, trying not to bawl, not to look like a baby. Everyone checked to make sure I was okay, which I was, just i had this headache from hell. I didn't even have a bump though. I thin that could be thanks to having really poooffy unstraightened hair in a ponytail, which im thankful for. Sue Vincent, Emily and Rachels Mom is a nurse, and she checked on me and saw I started crying [even though I did my best to hide it LOL ] they decided to take me home. When I got there, after a 45 minute drive, that is usually 15 but because of traffic we took forever. Sue stated they should take me to the emergancy room because I got hit pretty hard, and I was silent the whole way home, except for my "mhms" and "yes" to are you alright. My parents knew me being quite, ESPIECIALLY with the vincents was unusual. So we went off to the hospital for a three hour wait - FINALLY it was my turn. I had to do some weird tests. Like I mean weird, he made me feel crazy. But, he said I did have a minor concussion, and if it progresses to come back. So I am "okay" now, not to say I am not in pain, because boy - thats not the truth, but, I guesss I've gotta take what I'm dealt


p.s
emmas on her plane now.
way to make a girls head feel worse,
trying to wrap it around that.

....still confused.

I figure I will blog since I was supposed to be leaving my house six minutes ago for church, but was told the wrong time. So I am ALL ready an hour early, woohoo -- NOT. Could of slept in, anyways. I really have not gotten any advice on this Emma thing and it is begining to take over my mind . I now know they are coming back on the 26th , tuesday. Yes, THIS tuesday. It seems very rushed to me. It is Sunday and I am still no where near ready for this. Both times shes moved here, and moved away, I've messed up. I've lost friends, I've not spent enough time with her, I've spent too much time with her, I've avoided her. I just do not know WHAT to do.. I am confused, scared, depressed, excited, and anxious. I cannot wait to see my best friend, I am pumped, I will probably cry when her limo [ if that is what she brings again ] rolls down the street. I will probably jump up and down and hug her as tight as I can. I will probably tell her I missed her a lot and I am glad she is back. This in its self, is all truth, and something I would not make up. The hard part is what I am not going to tell her. I'm scared shes back, I'm terrified. I am not ready to comprimise. I am not going to stop going to church - like I did once upon a time. Life just became too complex. I am not going to lose Jen, and Rachel - I just can't. It becomes hard since Jen and Emma are not anywhere near friends. I am filled with nerves, when thinking about my birthday party. I am turning 16, in just over two weeks - sixteen. I am not having a huge party like many people my age would, as I do not have many friends. I am inviting eight people to my party. My lover boy (:, Jenn, Emma, Emily . C, Kayla, Emily V, Rachel , Kimberley, and Stephanie. LOL I guess that is nine. If any of you knew this mix match of people , you would shutter when reading it. Stephanie, and Emily Culter, and Kayla hate each other. Emily Vincent and Stephanie aren't friends, Emma and Jen can't stand each other. Rachel and Emily V. are sisters and havea huge tendancy to fight. Wow, that spells drama to me. I guess me Kim and Nick will have a good time while everyone else fights LOL. I went a LITTLE off topic, I tend to do that, but it lead to one another. Me and Emmas friendship did not go well when she was gone. I had found out a secret she did not tell me and I was hurt on MANY levels. Not only was my best friend keeping something pretty important from me, it involved dating my ex boyfriend [whom she knew I was madly in love with] and not telling me. That broke me in pieces, and I was so hurt to find out she did not tell me. I did not know I was hurting her by not hanging out. That was not my intention , although I did back away hugely when I found out she was moving. I would not hang out at all, because I was HOPING it would make it easier. Last time she moved , the first time, I spent every waking moment with her and I have never EVER cried as hard as I did that day, week, month, year - so I figured that would help. I was wrong - I've tried it all, I'm terrified she'll move again, and what will that leave me.
Even more hurt, confused, and anxious than I am now.
Please, give me suggestions.

Mixed Emotions.

Oh my goodness, I can not describe to you how utterly confused I am right at this time and moment. There are no words for my devine confused self. I am confused on many situations for many different reasons, lets start with Glo.

Ah, okay. Glo and I met on the computer like three years ago. She was one of the first "myspacers" I met and kept in touch with. She was wonderful to me, I called her "myspace mommy" , and I loved her to pieces. We would talk on the phone, and she sent me a grad present, card and picture. I really cared about her and respected her. She met Jess ---- she'd had her on her list before but once she met her it was like bye bye Caitlin. Sure they are the same age so it helps, but Glo was a huge role model to me. I introuced Jessica to her three best friends [ well ... once upon a time best friends ] Glo, Suzi, And Julie. Julie was an accidently indrocution and it wasn't really me that did it, but she met her on the flight home from my house - so she often thanks me. I am so glad Jessica has Glo and Suzi, but I often can't help to hurt because without me she would of not known them, and maybe those two women would still take the time to talk to me. But, back to Glo. When she met Jessica, EVERYTHING changed, she'd talk to, and about Jessica 24/7 and I got sick of it [ as I'm sure all of you do :P] so I pushed away from her and just gave up. Then, she lost her son - I could not imagine how hard that would of been, and I knew she was going to be different,but was unprepaired in HOW different. She did a 180. She no longer EVER checked how I was. Our webcam "dates" were gone. She was never online and if she was she ignored EVERYTHING. Jessica went to see her in that December, two months after Danny died, and my jealousy flared to a whole new level. Wait - how does that work. I knew Glo first, I knew Jess first yet they were meeting first? I was terribly upset at how that could happen. They went had a good time, and I felt a bit better. Glo and me got in this massive fight, I don't remember how, or why , but oh my goodness, WW4. Jessica who was closer to Glo said she'd NEVER seen a glo like that before, and was STUNNED at the way a grown woman was treating me. After MONTHS and MONTHS we'd started talking again, just this year actually. What hurts the most is I never once got an apology, yet I apologized. I know saying "sorry" is because you're sorry not because you expect one back, but I was hurt to a degree I cannot explain and I thought I deserved one - guess I was wrong!!!!! Everything became "okay" we started talking once more, and we were good. She still told me she'd come to my graduation as she did for many many days prior. Everything was fine, until I heard they were going to spain. I BURST out crying, I would of died to go to Spain, let alone, with Jess, oh man. I had gotten over my jealous ways, but I was STILL human and that did hit me really hard. I put it off, and didn't think about it. Until the day came, I got sad, but knew they deserved a good time so I let them. Oh man, oh man. Glo had left Monica [her daughter] a comment, saying " I miss you, wish you could of come. Jessica is being a baby because I wont do her hair and make up, omg who does that" or something along the lines. So I asked Jessica what that comment was referring to, and no later than 30 seconds got a "goodbye" email from Glo and Monica, woah woah woah. Now I am to blame because I TOLD Jessica, but the people who said it are off okay. Shouldn't I be mad at them? They said it, NOT me. So thats the latest. Glo and Jessica were done after that trip, Jessica could not have a friendship with her, after all the drama that went on in Spain [ there was more than that ] Just the other day, Glo decided to make her status " I need a vacation, a REAL one" Woah Glo , take it back a step. Two weeks ago you were telling me Jessica was giving you a chance of a lifetime and something you could of never done alone. She offered you a 6,000 dollar trip for 400 dollars, and that isn't good enough for you? You were the one that ruined it, soooo back it up. Last night Glo starts talking to Jessica, and talking casaully as if NOTHING happened, no sorry's , no "i was wrongs" NOTHING. Just I miss you and Love you. This has happened before, and I am scared Jessica will not only "forgive her" [because I know thats whats right] but go back to her, and be hurt once again. I feel like its on repeat.

Haha
I'm sure you're sick of me now. But I haven't even gotten to the next and final issue as no one will want to read all this.

GUESS WHO IS MOVING BACK. You will NEVER GUESS. No other than Emma Louise Hazell. After merely moving less than TWO months ago [June 23rd] she will already be back sometime next week..Hm, that was not the plan, I wish I'd known that when I bawled at my goodbyes. I do not know what to say anymore, its offical. Caitlins SPEECHLESS. How do you handle this? I met an amazing friend in grade eight, i love her to death, but if I had known this all would have happened, i'd never would of befriended her. Listen to this. She moved here August of grade eight. Stayed all of grade eight and all of summer [ although she was in summer school ]. Moved September 23rd of Grade Nine. She moved back August 20th during the summer before grade ten. She moved June 23rd at the end of grade 10, and is supposed to be coming back at the end of AUGUST. Can you BELIEVE it. I just can't handle this, I need stability and I am not getting it in the least.

Seriously.
what the HELL do i do.
I need your help amy and JENN!

(:

pictures and videos,
from my aunts house and my cartiledge piercing.

you can't possibly understand how many times I've heard this song , and OMG ew, at my voice.

a random picture, you can kinda see my ear. it got real boring waiting for the kids .
crazy cousins. love you kids.
can you guess what we had for a snack LOL. I love Robyns cute face, her mismatched outfit (: Me and my baby girl (:. It was sunny, and I look bald, ew. Haha, EW. My side of the head looks gross, but earrr! Its really red still , or was then since its soo new (:

Update.

I feel as if I am not on here enough, nor updating, as I was at one point. Between camp, summer, friends, and babysitting, I am extremely busy and do not have the time I once had, so whenever I do get a moment I prefer to do something else on the computer. I finally have gotten to the point that if I do not update, I am gonig to explode. I am going C-R-A-Z-Y I tell you. Already, I have just sat down and my little cousin is over here bugging me to come on, whats new. LOL. So anyways. Throughout the week, I did not do very much, at all. I just sort of hugn around at home and relaxed, it was very nice. But, friday I went and got my cartiledge pierced, which I do have pictures of, but am too lazy to load (:. I went with a friend, it hurt, and is very annoying, because its all gross and pussy, aren't you glad I told you that. I went to "midnight madness" which is basically downtown Bowmanville stores with many sales. I got up early Saturday to leave for my aunts and since then I have been going CRAAAAAZYYY. LOL No jokeee :. I have been babysitting pretty much 24/7, and have been watching them the whole time. Which I do not mind too much, but -- uhh, a five year old and two seven year olds gets kind of crazy (:. I have not been donig much here, but I better go, I have a little girl who wants the computer, and a little boy who is blowing a whistle :s. so yeah. Better go, the house could be on fire for all I know. I'm done for now. BYE

Sunday! (:

On Sunday, The last real day of moms vacation, I decided we hadn't done anything all week so we have to do SOMETHING. After visiting Jens page, I saw they went bowling, and it looked fun. I suggested liberty bowl in Bowmanville, which is disgusting but it was something! It is closed though, my Mom said. So we ventured off to North End Bowl in Oshawa, the five of us [my family, and my future sister in law (Isabelle ! ) We got kind of lost but we made it! We went bowling and I came in third, Mommy won the first game, then dad, Me, Isabelle, and my brother came in last. We took a break and played some games! I had like 15 dollars, so I bought tokens for the kids, and we had lots of fun. I gave all the tickets I won to Quinn, and Isabelle. And Isabelle ended up having something like 320!!! Quinn only had 150, but he still got some cool things. We played our second game of bowling, and surprisingly I came in first, VERY surprisingly as I suck at bowling. Dad came in second, Isabelle third, Quinn fourth, and the winner of the previous game -- last. We left NEBS at about 3:30 and went out for a late lunch, early dinner to East Side Marios. The love birds got spagetti, and I got cheese cappaletti [ or something like that LOL ] since Chicken fingers aren't "italian" enough they took it off the menu -- my FAVOURITE. We ended off the meal by the kids sharing a funnell cake. We came home, and watched over her dead body. It was a really good day, and I have some pictures, and a video :)

I love love love her laugh to death, its honestly hilarious. And the way she bowls. Oh god, I love youso much Isabelle! :] Little Abba. Ewh , ps. Don't mind my discusting voice & laughhh. :

Me and Quinn, my hair looks soo messy.

Me and Abba. [Isabelle]

The Happy Couple :P Happy one month! :]

Me and My Mama. I love you.


She had an amazingly hot candy. LOL Youre too cute.

Update on MOI!

I feel like summer has gotten the best of me, and actually having a summer has been amazing. I kind of forgot about blog land, and although I be sure to read Jen, Amy and Jills blog everyday, I have been too lazy to update mine. Soo where to start? On Saturday that just passed I went to wonderland, OH MY GOODNESS, i had a fricken blast. But, I also hasd a little accident... LOLOLOL. Oh my god, I'm ashamed, I drank like 5 drinks and really had to pee .... and.... well I went on an extremely scary ride, and I guess you can fill in the blanks. Yes - I am 16 in 34 days but I still am not potty trained. Thank Goodness for the log rides that get you absolutely soaked, only the people whom I told knew :). Haha, anyways. I got a nice tan and had a great day with my best friends. Sunday - I went to church in the morning, and then to Sams Club, our favourite "deal store" and I got the second sisterhood of the traveling pants book, which REALLY excited me, but I have got to page 100 and cannot get into it, unfortunately. I am still going to try though. And I bought 22 packs of gum. LOL I am writing about such pointless things, but I was soo excited :). Monday all I did was clean my room :( Trust me - it was BAAAAD. But it was nice not getting dressed, not showering [ ewh i know ] and just relaxing. Yesterday, I finished my room,. and then went out with my mom and my old neighbours. We went to the kitchen store, wooooowww excitement, aha, and my Mom showed me just what my 15,900 dollar new kitchen was going to be like, I love it . I am soo excited. We went back over to our old neighbours and had a good time. We went to Quinns soccer which got rained out, because of the lightening, watched big brother and went to bed :). And today was by far the best day. We went out with our old neighbours - AGAIN [we love them , sometimes ;)] Jill, Alley, Brooke, Mom and I, went to see the sisterhood of the traveling pants movie [which i loved FAR more than the book ] and then walmart, where I got some jeans, and pj shorts, and fudge mmmmm. And then we all went out to east sides for dinner.
There is an update you're going to never care about.
--Cait ♥