Girls night.

I know I won't get through this without crying, so it's going to be a tough blog to type, just because I held most of it in tonight.

I'm part of a class, called SLiC, student leadership initating change. Clearly, we're trying to make this school a better place in this class, and change everyones view of our school, and atleast make it a bit exciting. Someone had the idea to have a p.j party with the grade nine girls! So they all come in their pjs, and we bring up many conversations. Having to do with self confidence, and many other things. Tonight, was the practise one to see how it would go, just with our slic class, there were about 12 girls, and our teacher. It was from 5-9, and consisted of much more than just talk and pizza. We did many activities, but the two that I will forever remember go like this. The one was we got a piece of paper, and had to fold it in three, we had to write our names on the front. She gave us six minutes, and for that six minutes we had to write STRAIGHT about stuff we like about ourselves. [Here come the tears, I warned you]. This was a hard activity for me. I could sit there for hours writing about stuff i DON'T like, but to actually express what I do like was not easy. I wrote a bunch of stuff and searched a bit deeper, inside me, to see what I liked. Once doing that, I realized a whole lot. I wrote for that whole six minutes and filled the inside up. We had to paper clip the sheet together, and pass it around and the class had to write something about us [ and now i'm bawling! ]. I got such amazing things on mine, that I tried soo hard not to cry while reading it , I was a wreck tonight. People said stuff like " so pretty and so amazing" and stuff like that, it just got to me, I never realized people though highly of me. I am definately keeping this paper for years to come, to read when I'm down. The other task that REALLY got to me, and most of the class was -- we had to bring something that meant something to us, and she made us explain why. One girl brought a picture of her and her dad who died when she was in grade five, another girl brought something from a funeral from a man that raised her and was practically like her dad. She started bawling explaining to us what he meant to her, and how hard it was to watch him be sick. That started the water falls, so many people cried. We had a group hug, and everything was amazing. But , that night, I won't soon forget. I feel closer to EVERYONE than ever before. We laughed, we cried, but most importantly, we made everlasting memories, and I love each and everyone of you. I'm soo appreciative of taking this class, its going to change my life. I know it.

why don't you hit me when I'm down.

Yesterday, I went on a trip, to a camp, and it was amazing. I have so many pictures, but I am currently at school and haven't gotten a chance to load them since we were home late. We got there, and did a bunch of group games. I must let you know it was for my leadership class, so it was a very leadership based camp. The group games were fun, but what came next was even better. He asked us to line up, in alaphebetic order, WITHOUT talking, by MOM'S first names. So finally, we did it, and we were split in half. Me adn Emma were in different groups because my Moms name is Kelly, and hers is Tracey. So, my group, went to this little room. Where we were told a story, a fake story, but a funny one. It was about a place called Sablova or something. Sablova got in a fight, about shoe soles, and lollipops. And split into two groups, upper sablova and lower sablova, and we were upper. We had to make up a bunch of stuff, like when they sent three of their people to our group, and when they said the word "you" we were scared and had to run and hide. When they whispered, we'd cover our ears and say EARMUFFS, to be polite and not listen to their conversation. When they entered our "greeting" was ... "got your nose" and we'd steal their noses from them. Our national anthem was "icky bicky bocky, sablova, UPPPPPPER" the upper being high pitched. Well saying that we had to stick our head through our legs with our hands on our butts. It was a hilarious game, and we left the other group quite confused (:. It was hilarious, but the whole message of the game was to show diversity, because being a leadership group, we see and experience a lot of diversity in our school. Like, they thought it was weird, when we "stole" their noses, as we think many things are weird that people do in our school, but its their way of lives. It was an interesting way to show it but it made sense. We did many trust activities too, our teacher even tried this one. We had a rope type thing, I don't really know what it was, but we criss crossed it ten times, and someone laid on it. First, we had to rock them back and forth, and then throw them in the air. We dropped the first guy, which was partially my fault. He landed on my fingers, and it really hurt, and without thinking me and this other girl just let go, so it was our fault there, but he got back on and we did it again and it was fine! We did it to a bunch of other people too, but our teacher even trusted us to throw her up, which says a lot about her class, specially since we didn't drop her! LOL. I think she gained even more trust after that. We did this other activity, but it wasn't all that exciting and I have soo much more to write about, and I doubt anyone will read this as it is! We went to our next activity, with this girl with a really annoying voice! It was high ropes, and I am still, kicking myself over this activity, hence the name. High ropes, was about 20 feet in the air, if not more, and we had to climb a ladder, and then climb this things that went around and were about a foot away from each other. I was so scared, I was doing it in the dark almost and was just terrified. I got up the top of the ladder, and I'm like, I can't do it anymore. The guy that was watching us at this point,t hat was amazingly good looking, and saved my life, was like go one more step higher than you thought you could. I'm like, YEAH I'M THERE. He was like get to the platform. Oh my god, if you knew how scared I was you'd understand. I was shaking adn hanging on for dear life. I climbed up and around to the platform, and was done. He was like take the first step, So I did. But I couldn't push myself anymore. I am still regretting this and am thoroughly disapointed in my choice, because I really wanted to do it and didn't believe in myself enough to do so. He told me to lean back and he'd let me down. I'm 25 feet in the air, on this thing that swings, and hes telling me to lean back? I thought he was crazy! But, I did so, and slowly slid off the swing, and got off of the high ropes, I was near tears, just being so insanely angry at myself, for not finishing. I am still not over it, and am still so angry I did not do it, but I know, next time. I will definaltey do it! What a day I had. It was amazing, and I can't wait to post pictures later this evening.

My Birthday.

So by far, this is the best birthday I have EVER had. It was amazing in more ways than one. I had a wonderful day at school, it was simple, and my teacher brought in timbits (:. My best friend came over in the morning with a candle, and made me blow it out sixteen times, she got me a beautiful locket. My Bampa came over after school with a really pretty necklace from Ireland, that I adore! I went out for dinner with the Hysons and My favourite aunt and Uncle. I got more presents there. I opened my aunts present, she brought me roses too! And on the card it says we're going to get our noses pierced (:. So, I'm excited for that. And then I opened my MOms and it was a Carrie Underwood CD and she was like "I'm sorry I know you wanted to go to the concert, I hope that is okay" And I'm like yeah thats fine. And Jills like theres more in there, and I'm like .. No, its empty. She looked again, and shes like noo, its noot. So I'm likeWHAT! And I lift up the bottom part of it, ANNNNNND Threee BEAUTIFUL Carrie underwood TICKETS for her concert were in there. Me, My best friend, and My MOM are going, I AM SO EXCITED :D. October seventh. Turns out my Aunt and Cousin are going too :P. Then I opened Quinn's present and it was a chicken soup book, my absolute FAV. books. Then Garth and Jills and it was a movie gift card, which works because I'm always wanting to go to the movies. And I haven't even gotten two or three family presents. Honestly, best birthday ever. I'm so happy.

PICTURES.

I look really

really

really fat

in all of them

just an fyi,

Blowing out the candle.

Opening Carrie Underwood CONCERT tickets

Fav. Aunt

AGAIN.

He kissed me!!! Hence the face. LOL.

Awwwwh, I love you.

OMG. They made me STAND up, as they announced my NAME and AGE, and SANG, with that on my head:

Me and Uncle <33.

I look like a cow :(. But I love him soo much

& i'm offically sixteen.

Well , not technically, I suppose. September 10th 1992, around 7:30 pm, Caitlin Alexandra Marr was born. I was 8 pounds 9 ounces, a big baby [somethings never change!!] I was always a happy baby, and rarely caused any troubles for my parents. I guess I saved those for the teen years. I am finally sixteen years old. I'm consitered a young adult, I can drive [well , i'm "of age' i can't drive yet though!] I am so excited for tonight. I am going out for dinner with my Mom, and Dad, and brother. The Hysons, Jill, Garth, Ally, and Brooke. And my favouritest Aunt and Uncle EVER, Aunt Susan and Uncle Rob. We are going to open presents there, and have a good time with a few of my most favourite people . I'll try to get some pictures. I love you all (:

School,

is intense! Like seriously, ah I want to pull all my hair out. Don't get me wrong, I adore SLiC and I adore doing stuff for the school and being a part of something "bigger" buuuut, it has me exhausted in everyway possible. It is only Monday of the second week of school too! Already, we've planned two events, had two events, delievered many SAC PACS [student activity card + much more] and it doesn't seem like a lot, but we're working every period two, every lunch and every spare we have, I am going insane.

My birthday is Wednesday. I had a party on the weekend, which was fun, minus the stupid drama, and a girl storming out of my house at like one am, yay, girl drama! It never ends, which depresses me extremely, I want to get out of it and away from it. I am excited for my birthday and I am quite unsure why. I know we do not have any money and I know my gift will extravagant. I feel as if, I'm sixteen, and it should be a big year. I guess I watched a few too many "sweet sixteen shows". We'll see what happens though, my dad did tell me it is unable to be returned, which makes me suspicious. I'm probably hoping too much.

Summer '08

As summer of two thousand and eight , draws to an end, I'm filled with sadness. Sadness, I simply cannot explain - this surely was NOT the best summer of my life, by any means. It was filled with fights, drama, and a lot of work. I spent too much of this summer doing nothing, and far too much working. I regret going to camp, as it was a lot of drama, tears, fights, and stupid stuff, and was three weeks of my summer. But then I look back, and think wow. I wouldn't be as close with Kimberley as I am, or cherish Rachel as much as I do BECAUSE of what we went through. I wouldn't of met AMAZING friends, or learned half as much as I did about working. I have FINALLY, after nearly a week, come to a conclusion about my feelings with Emma being here. I am happy to have her back. We hung out a bit this week, but I made sure I also hugn out with Rachel. I want everyone to know that nothing is going to change, but if anything I am just going to be happier. Me and Emma have had a lot of fun this past week, and I look forward to this coming school year with her. Yes, I am TERRIFIED she will move once again, but I know I just have to take it day by day, and not try to look too far into the future, as I am just scaring myself about stuff I don't know. I need to go and shower, and do my hair, and then go to bed. Tomorrow is my first day of grade 11, its kind of a big day and 6:50 comes way earlier than I'm used to. Not to mention I have to babysit til 12:30 or 1 am tomorrow. ugh. R.I.P Summer 2008. I'll post pictures of my last day of summer when I get time this week. I have school, then babysitting, then wednesday, school and homework, thursday getting everything ready for my party, friday my party, and etcetcetcetc.