I had a really good talk with my social worker today, probably one of the best. She had asked me to write a list, catorgorizing what I disliked about myself, weither it is Self Image or Self Esteem. I did so, and she asked me to pick one thing off the list that I would love to change, I would love to change my weight, I would love to change my face, and my personality, and my everything, but above all, I chose the negativity in my life.
I am a negative person, I know it and I believe it. Marnie helped me realize why. I dislike myself so much, that I want everyone to feel as terrible as I do. It makes sense, if I feel shitty about myself, they should too. If I hate my thighs, they should hate theirs. Although, that sounds naive and childish, it was my train of thought.
She asked me what a day would look like without my negative glasses, if a self esteem fairy came at night and stole them away from me, haha. I told her what a wonderful day it would be, how happy everyone would be, including myself. I realized my reasons for being negative are stupid, and not worth the pain I'm enduring, and or causing others.
Tomorrow, my negative glasses will be at rest, I hope you all can hold me accountable for it.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Puttng the Negative Glasses to rest....
Posted by Caits; at 7:02 PM
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2 comments:
I think that is AWESOME!! See Caitlin, you are growing up to be a wise person!! You will find times of hardship, moments of sadness, seconds of drama, but above all you will eventually find all the laughter and happiness that is so worth peeing your pants for!! It will all be worth it! See what a great lil sis I have! Love ya!
Very close today i only heard one negative thing come out of your mouth today much better!
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