Day three.

I am starting with "internet" friends, people I met online and kept talking to for a while to come.

I logged onto Myspace on January 1st, 2007, I had requested a friend on myspace merely the day before. I saw her on Jessicas page and was interested, curiousity got the best of me, like always. But I would not of traded my curious ways for anything - not when these situations come out of it.

I remember being really hurt, that new years. I had drank the night before, for the first time, as young and unexperienced grade nine, I thought I was having fun, and I figured why not, everyone else did it. Not everyone felt that way. I remember Jessica being so disapointed, not BECAUSE I drank, but because my reasons. It seeems as if I am going off track, but it all plays a part in this friendship.

December 31st, 2006. I got into a huge fight with Glo, she'll have a blog soon. She hurt me so bad, she did things I had never expected from her, but she lost her son only months previously. I was young, and I was hurt. The things she said still stick with me these days, I drank to numb the pain I didn't know how to numb otherwise.

Megan Meyers

Megan sent me an e-mail that day. She sent me one, filled with compassion and understanding, an explanation, since she too knew Jessica, she understood her point of few. I respect Megan greatly for that day. Jessica was mad, Glo was out of the picture, and I felt alone, Megan helped me a lot.

That was only the start of our friendship, I remember many days needing someone and Megan being right there. I leant on her A LOT for never ending and always loving support, I would of been lost without her some of those days. She considered me like a little sister, and I looked up to her as a big one. I worshipped her in the non-weird, non-creepy way. I'd never had an older sister, and I didn't see anything more amazing than this.

We had our hard times, too. I put her through a lot, I expected her to fix every single problem I had, I realize later, that was not humanly possible. Megan has encountered a lot in her 31 years on this planet, and to her, I'm sure they looked like little, pety problems, and anyone else would of shrugged them off - not my big sister!

We would talk on the phone for hours, and laugh about absolutely nothing. I would have so much fun on the phone with her, and we'd talk about meeting, and other things. When the world walked out, my sister walked in.

The hardest thing I've probably ever had to deal with was partically brought on by myself. I sent the most terrible e-mail I have ever sent to anyone. I feel bad for it to this day, It was filled with ill words and harsh accusations. I regret it, it brought on something that may not of occured, and really affected me.

I remember logging on the next day, and she had deleted her myspace and facebook. I remember texting her, and being terrible upset when I did not get a response. I did not realize this is how things would be for the next months. Many many months, I went without talking to Megan. I was hurt, and distrought inside. I didn't know, the feeling of "loss" until my big sister disappeared.

I went to such an extent, I called her work and almost called her neighbours asking where she was. I needed her. I was going through a lot, and I wanted my sister to be by my side. I wanted to hear she loved me, and to hear I was important to her. She finally emailed me just days after almost calling her neighbours. I remember getting that e-mail, and just crying. Not because what she said, because I knew - she was alive, she was around, and my sister was back

Things really haven't been the same since she stopped talking to me almost a year and a half ago. We're back in contact, and we still talk almost daily. I love her as much as I did before. I still hold a bit of a grudge, but sis, I'm working on it.