Mixed Emotions.

Oh my goodness, I can not describe to you how utterly confused I am right at this time and moment. There are no words for my devine confused self. I am confused on many situations for many different reasons, lets start with Glo.

Ah, okay. Glo and I met on the computer like three years ago. She was one of the first "myspacers" I met and kept in touch with. She was wonderful to me, I called her "myspace mommy" , and I loved her to pieces. We would talk on the phone, and she sent me a grad present, card and picture. I really cared about her and respected her. She met Jess ---- she'd had her on her list before but once she met her it was like bye bye Caitlin. Sure they are the same age so it helps, but Glo was a huge role model to me. I introuced Jessica to her three best friends [ well ... once upon a time best friends ] Glo, Suzi, And Julie. Julie was an accidently indrocution and it wasn't really me that did it, but she met her on the flight home from my house - so she often thanks me. I am so glad Jessica has Glo and Suzi, but I often can't help to hurt because without me she would of not known them, and maybe those two women would still take the time to talk to me. But, back to Glo. When she met Jessica, EVERYTHING changed, she'd talk to, and about Jessica 24/7 and I got sick of it [ as I'm sure all of you do :P] so I pushed away from her and just gave up. Then, she lost her son - I could not imagine how hard that would of been, and I knew she was going to be different,but was unprepaired in HOW different. She did a 180. She no longer EVER checked how I was. Our webcam "dates" were gone. She was never online and if she was she ignored EVERYTHING. Jessica went to see her in that December, two months after Danny died, and my jealousy flared to a whole new level. Wait - how does that work. I knew Glo first, I knew Jess first yet they were meeting first? I was terribly upset at how that could happen. They went had a good time, and I felt a bit better. Glo and me got in this massive fight, I don't remember how, or why , but oh my goodness, WW4. Jessica who was closer to Glo said she'd NEVER seen a glo like that before, and was STUNNED at the way a grown woman was treating me. After MONTHS and MONTHS we'd started talking again, just this year actually. What hurts the most is I never once got an apology, yet I apologized. I know saying "sorry" is because you're sorry not because you expect one back, but I was hurt to a degree I cannot explain and I thought I deserved one - guess I was wrong!!!!! Everything became "okay" we started talking once more, and we were good. She still told me she'd come to my graduation as she did for many many days prior. Everything was fine, until I heard they were going to spain. I BURST out crying, I would of died to go to Spain, let alone, with Jess, oh man. I had gotten over my jealous ways, but I was STILL human and that did hit me really hard. I put it off, and didn't think about it. Until the day came, I got sad, but knew they deserved a good time so I let them. Oh man, oh man. Glo had left Monica [her daughter] a comment, saying " I miss you, wish you could of come. Jessica is being a baby because I wont do her hair and make up, omg who does that" or something along the lines. So I asked Jessica what that comment was referring to, and no later than 30 seconds got a "goodbye" email from Glo and Monica, woah woah woah. Now I am to blame because I TOLD Jessica, but the people who said it are off okay. Shouldn't I be mad at them? They said it, NOT me. So thats the latest. Glo and Jessica were done after that trip, Jessica could not have a friendship with her, after all the drama that went on in Spain [ there was more than that ] Just the other day, Glo decided to make her status " I need a vacation, a REAL one" Woah Glo , take it back a step. Two weeks ago you were telling me Jessica was giving you a chance of a lifetime and something you could of never done alone. She offered you a 6,000 dollar trip for 400 dollars, and that isn't good enough for you? You were the one that ruined it, soooo back it up. Last night Glo starts talking to Jessica, and talking casaully as if NOTHING happened, no sorry's , no "i was wrongs" NOTHING. Just I miss you and Love you. This has happened before, and I am scared Jessica will not only "forgive her" [because I know thats whats right] but go back to her, and be hurt once again. I feel like its on repeat.

Haha
I'm sure you're sick of me now. But I haven't even gotten to the next and final issue as no one will want to read all this.

GUESS WHO IS MOVING BACK. You will NEVER GUESS. No other than Emma Louise Hazell. After merely moving less than TWO months ago [June 23rd] she will already be back sometime next week..Hm, that was not the plan, I wish I'd known that when I bawled at my goodbyes. I do not know what to say anymore, its offical. Caitlins SPEECHLESS. How do you handle this? I met an amazing friend in grade eight, i love her to death, but if I had known this all would have happened, i'd never would of befriended her. Listen to this. She moved here August of grade eight. Stayed all of grade eight and all of summer [ although she was in summer school ]. Moved September 23rd of Grade Nine. She moved back August 20th during the summer before grade ten. She moved June 23rd at the end of grade 10, and is supposed to be coming back at the end of AUGUST. Can you BELIEVE it. I just can't handle this, I need stability and I am not getting it in the least.

Seriously.
what the HELL do i do.
I need your help amy and JENN!